Winter

Whistling bare branches
Howling forests
Hibernating animals
Lonely crunchy walks

Snow, wind and snow
cold, cold and cold
snow, wind and snow
cold, cold and cold

Stretching the mind with freshness
Pristine blanketed beauty
Reflecting thoughts reminds of winters past
Refreshing silence yields peace

Snow, wind and snow
cold, cold and cold
snow, wind and snow
cold, cold and cold

Goodbye

I don't know if I've ever wanted to tell someone I loved them as much as I do right now.

I want to let them know I want them around me all the time. I miss them when they are near and I can't live when they are away.

Deep down inside...
Somehow I feel like it was always expressed.
Somehow I feel like if I said it, it would lose value.

Maybe it's just best to say...

Goodbye

I'm Sorry

listen to this music if you read this/while you read this:
I'm Sorry

I'm Sorry...
I couldn't help you justify your behavior. I'm just not that much of a douche.

I'm Sorry...
You felt guilty when you looked at me, I can't take back you cheating on me.

I'm Sorry...
for trusting you, I really wanted to love you...
More.

I'm Sorry...
I couldn't help you confirm everyone's opinion, they were just rumors.

I'm Sorry...
You weren't who I thought you were, my heart still breaks when I hear your name.

Everything I gave you, you took and you kept...
Everything except for my heart...

You crushed that instead.

Pineapple, pepperoni, green pepper and ital. sausage

You eat, laugh and talk. Realize things are so much smoother when we aren't concerned about impressing one another. Conversation is better because we are finally being honest. We're just friends now and its such a relief for both of us.

Closure pizza.

Where to Captain?

I made you a card... Drew you running with a gown on, there was a stack of books off to the side and a finish line that read: Congratulations!

I drew it up a few weeks ago and had not written anything inside yet. I burnt that card today because I realized if I could not find the words to properly congratulate you while you made me happy... I would certainly not be finding those words now that it hurts to think of you.

Nothing has changed, my brain is still my navigator, my heart is still on a sleeve as 2nd in command and Mr. Johnson is still the captain of the ship. While these three are together at the helm, this ship can't sail far. It never does and I don't think it ever will while he's still the captain. Although my heart may lead the mutiny against him, the victory of it all is always short lived and he always gets his ship back. The navigator trusts him too much and won't ever let my heart be more than a consult.

Where to captain?

Busy times

I have been in exam season for 2 weeks now and I have my last one on Tuesday. I've been in this exam mode so long I feel like I'm losing focus. Perhaps my lack of focus can be attributed to my busy timetable for the next couple weeks. Last exam Tuesday, field school starts Wednesday and that's a 8 to 4 commitment everyday. Saturday I have my new apartment! Friday night I'm moving my shit! Saturday morning before field school/between midnight and 8 am, I'm hoping to move into my apartment! Then on the 4th we go to Antigonish, 6 days of field school away from my new apartment and leave my dog to be watched by someone who is not related to me for the first time.

Hooked

You dangle the bait and hope for a nibble, you turn that nibble into a bite, you hook that fish and reel it in before he notices he's even hooked. Once he's reeled in, you net him; measure, compare and decide whether or not to keep him. If he's kept he might be placed in a tank with other hooked fish, a good angler has a big tank and keeps her fish happy and useful. What you might get those fish do for you is the test of honesty in the code of angling. In angling, no angler can say they've always been honest, caught and released when the fish was not up to standard. It's much too difficult and the guidelines are too stringent in certain categories. The bottom line, in the anglers code, every once in a while after a few unsuccessful tries, just before the angler might do something crazy; like take a break or worse... Retire! Its okay to bait, nibble, bite, reel and tank a fish that doesn't deserve to be hooked. The important thing is to abide by the guidelines to the best of the anglers ability, to respect the code and avoid bending the rules. Those poor hooked fish don't know any better, sometimes they deserve to be badly hooked, kept and taught a lesson or two, but it's hard to say which actually do and which don't. Being as it may, there is no governing body for the code of angling, there is only honour, honesty and pride.


I always saw myself as an angler... I was so wrong, I'm so hooked...
Hopefully my awareness of the situation will result in a less demeaning tank life. Perhaps if I get out and go back to angling, I'll respect the code better and won't end up hooked again.

Toi, Oui, Toi

I wrote this a few weeks ago when I realized I was forgetting someone, and was ok with it.
The idea, that I didn't care I was forgetting someone who was once so special to me inspired these few words.

While Kirk was over for reading week he put some music on this and we sang it last week at the Acadia Enviro. Society Coffeehaus.

Chaque jour je m'eloigne de toi
J'oublie un peu plus ta voix
Ton sourire me manque
Comme tu le croirais pas

Je pense beaucoup a toi
J'entend siffler ta voix
Je te cherche un peu partout
Et je deviens plus fou

Comment pourrais-je partager
Comment je souhaite te parler
Comment pourrais-je t'expliquer
Comment j'aimerai t'aimer

Oh oui c'est vrai
Certainement tu l'sais
Oh oui, tu sais
Certainement c'est vrai

Reading week

I'm on reading week, how much reading have I done?
Does reading beer labels count?
Last week Kirk was over, it was awesome! It was great to party with him and it was great to jam with him! I also had three midterms last week and didn't go to any classes besides the ones I had to write midterms in... Now I'm on reading week, it's pretty awesome to have no lectures for two weeks. I can't complain.

I do have an online quiz to submit by 1130 tonight though.. I think it should be illegal to have things due during reading week...

The dirty, crooked and cheap

As some of you might know, I have been moonlighting as a pizza delivery boy since about October last year. I've recently relinquished my position as a delivery boy, although it was among the easiest of jobs, it put my values and morals to the test.

The pizza joint I worked for is known as the best pizza in town, not that the competition is stiff in town... There are three designated pizza spots in town. His is known as the friendly, welcoming, fun-loving great cust. service one. Always smiling and willing to give a slice even if it's a few minutes past closing time. That's where things start to get a little bit gray, for the people who work for him... His kindness and generosity translates into our non-paid overtime. Although the shop closes at 2 am any day of the week besides sundays when it closes at 12 am, he takes orders till 5 minutes to close. It takes him 3 minutes to prep the pizza, about 8 minutes in the oven and about 4 minutes to get it ready to leave, this includes, boxing, cutting and prepping cash float for me (or the driver working that night). The town is small, it takes me about 10 minutes max to get anywhere in town. If i've got more then one stop to make then I'm usually out for anywhere from 20 minutes to 40 minutes.

When people call at 5 minutes to close, it's because they saw the lineup in the shop, they know he'll take the order on the phone and they know they can walk home and receive their pizza warm, "fresh" and in a timely fashion. For us working for him, it means putting in an hour of "free" work. That's right, as a delivery boy, you are paid a flat rate of "60$" per night regardless of how many deliveries you make or when the shop closes. This pizza joint, never closes early. We were open till midnight on thanksgiving sunday, I worked that night. I delivered one pizza.

I put "fresh" in quotation marks because the freshness of his pizza is questionable, he has a wall of shame in his pizza joint. He calls it that because he puts up the numbers and names of people who order and cancel, don't pay, don't answer the door or made the delivery boy wait longer then anticipated, thus retarding the rest of the orders. In a university town, when people place orders larger then their actual appetite while intoxicated, I find that a tad unfair; shouldn't it be expected that every now and then someone will pass out and not be able to answer the door? Isn't that the risk you take by opening up a shop in a university town? Well, not according to his business etiquette. There's only one way to run a business according to him and its profit, profit, profit, no matter what the cost.

What does he do to the people on the wall of shame? He sells them old pizza and he tacks on a few extra $$$ . For example, if someone made the wrong pizza and it got cooked, it does not go to waste, not to someone working that night, not to him; it gets tossed in the fridge and re-heated the next time someone orders that pizza, the kicker... Regardless of if you are on the wall of shame or not if you order something matching the day old special pizza, you guessed it, you get it. You are probably wondering, well what's the point of the wall of shame then? Are we all screwed? the answer is: yes. Try to understand the statistical inference of someone on that wall of shame ordering something that was made by accident. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, the difference is they get an additional screwing, he tosses a few extra $$$ on the bill, sells them an old pizza and says: "Those sons of bitches, We'll teach them a lesson won't we?". If you aren't on the wall of shame but you happen to get a day-old special pizza, you don't get the more expensive day old special but you do get his justification: "It's only going to ___ I'm sure they've fucked us over before". Plug in whatever address you want, it doesn't matter.

How does it work behind the scenes? Let me start by stating, he licks his fingers after he pours a sauce into a small reciprocal for : wings. garlic fingers, donairs or just about anything, the man loves his sauces. The only time I've ever seen him wash his hands is when he washes the dishes, which is at the end of the night. He handles the cash, goes to the washroom, picks food stuck in his teeth, makes the dough, scratches, eats and does just about everything you'd expect a guy to do. He has a few rags he wipes the counter tops down with, rags soaked in water; the same counter tops that all the boxes of supplies get put on when they arrive from the delivery truck -the back of his pick up truck, the same counter tops he puts his mop bucket on -to grease the wheels cause the bucket is about 7 years old and its wheel bearings are gunked up by dirt and grease -he's too cheap to buy a new one, the same counter top he allows his dough to rise on... I think you get the idea. More specifically, there are two counter tops, a stainless steel one and a wooden one. The wooden one gets a hand/arm wipe down and a damp cloth rub down every now and then. The stainless steel counter top gets a wipe down when it isn't shiny any more. Ya, that's right, when it isn't shiny, you wipe it down with a cloth. His reasoning :"It's stainless steel, just wipe it shiny and its clean".

My duties as a driver... The ongoing "training"... Wondering what "training" a driver needs?
Anyone who has ever worked a job knows that with more training comes more responsability. As a driver, your typical and expected training is:learn to carry the bag, learn to count float, don't forget your debit machine and learn the streets of the town... Typically.
I'd like to state although I'm no slacker -atleast I don't think I am, at some point if the training never ends one does expect pay to match the new responsabilities bestowed upon oneself. Right?

My pay remained the driver's wage of 60$ a night, but I got into doing prep work. I cut cheese, peppers, onions; i sheeted the dough, I cut the dough, I restocked the pop machine and I even prepped some pizzas; I also mopped and swept at the end of the night and helped make donair sauce and pizza sauce. One could say, he found a cheap line-cook with a car he could send out on deliveries.

Besides his shady business morals and his crooked nature, I'd like to reiterate: this guy doesn't care for hygiene. Not for himself, not for the food. I've witnessed food dropped, dusted off, cooked and sold to customers, I've seen him lick his fingers, dip his hand in jars, containers and grab cheese all in the same bacterial moments. I've seen mousetraps in the back, grease stains on the ground around machinery that can't be removed unless scraped off. I've pushed the broom under the counter to pull out a chicken wing that was beyond moldy, it had dehydrated and was in decomposition. I've seen tiles that have rotted away, are shattered and have exposed the underlying rotting moldy wood. I've never seen the oven cleaned and I've certainly never seen the pizza cutter cleaned. He re-uses the oil he can salvage to grease his pizza pans and I've never seen those pans get washed, they just keep getting re-greased.

As far as I know, no one has ever complained of getting ill from eating his food. No one has ever died, or gone to the hospital (I've been here a cumulative amount of time of 12 months split up by 4 months away).

Once, I saw him prep a pizza, sneeze on it and cover it up with pizza sauce. You might wonder how he gets away with all this, well his oven is at 485 ºF, I think it kills most if not all bacteria.
On my last shift, he dropped dough and used it; the pizza cutter fell and he picked it up and cut some slices; he got hot pepper vinegar on his hands and dried them by quenching grated cheese in a container and wiping his hands on his apron. He also swept flour off the floor and back into the bowl used for making dough.

The idea that this happens to your food, the idea that I was a part of it for so long makes me sick to my stomach. I am very glad we parted ways and I am no longer an employee at that establishment. I never plan on ever eating anything he makes.

Over the hump

Today is thursday, I'm so glad its thursday.
Here are a few reasons I'm glad its thursday :

1. On some calendars Thursday is denoted as "R" day, this makes me happy as my name begins with an "R".
2. Today I don't have labs and I got to play an hour and a bit of pick up basketball
3. I have my fist intramural indoor soccer game tonight
   
4. I only have two classes today (both done).
5. I'm beyond halfway through my week

In my books, that's more than enough reason to celebrate R-day, so pull up a chair, crack open a bevvy raise your glass and drink up.

Haus Crawl

Tonight were house crawling..

Made 108 jello shots and were going to three houses.
"Party through the year with ESSO (Enviro. Sci. Student Org.)"
Three houses with three themes!

First house is a easter/St Patty's day theme... We'll have an easter egg hunt and distribute some green Jello shooters!

Second house is our Halloween party, where we'll bob for apples and distribute some more Jello shooters!

Last house is our Xmas/NYE party! We'll countdown at 11 to go to the VIL...

If I don't post tomorrow its because I consumed most of the 108 Jello shooters myself.

My dog is the best dog

Today Soma n I went to the dyke fields behind the stadium in Wolfville. We met Rogue, Sadie, Nala, King, Hali and Addison.

Rogue jumped on me, he/she jumps very high... I got all four of his/her paws on my chest! She's half Soma's size. King, Nala and Sadie barked n yelped a bunch. King also tried mounting Hali who in turn growled at him.

Soma was the fastest and most efficient at fetching the ball/finding it when other dogs would drop it in the field. He also didn't jump on anyone, chew any coffee cups, bark, growl or mount any dogs. You rock Soma. You rock.

Goat Garlic bread

Tonight I'm experimenting...

Dough + Garlic butter + grated goat cheese

In oven till dough cooks and cheese melts.

Sounds pretty tasty, I'll let you know what my neighbours think. Cause I'm biased... I'm starving and I love goat cheese and garlic too much to not like this concoction.