Here

I'm alone
I listen
I hear
I feel

Not mine
Just heard
I agree
I feel

Alone and contempt
I decipher social intent
Perceive social suave
Enjoy the social scene

I'm here

Winter

Whistling bare branches
Howling forests
Hibernating animals
Lonely crunchy walks

Snow, wind and snow
cold, cold and cold
snow, wind and snow
cold, cold and cold

Stretching the mind with freshness
Pristine blanketed beauty
Reflecting thoughts reminds of winters past
Refreshing silence yields peace

Snow, wind and snow
cold, cold and cold
snow, wind and snow
cold, cold and cold

Goodbye

I don't know if I've ever wanted to tell someone I loved them as much as I do right now.

I want to let them know I want them around me all the time. I miss them when they are near and I can't live when they are away.

Deep down inside...
Somehow I feel like it was always expressed.
Somehow I feel like if I said it, it would lose value.

Maybe it's just best to say...

Goodbye

I'm Sorry

listen to this music if you read this/while you read this:
I'm Sorry

I'm Sorry...
I couldn't help you justify your behavior. I'm just not that much of a douche.

I'm Sorry...
You felt guilty when you looked at me, I can't take back you cheating on me.

I'm Sorry...
for trusting you, I really wanted to love you...
More.

I'm Sorry...
I couldn't help you confirm everyone's opinion, they were just rumors.

I'm Sorry...
You weren't who I thought you were, my heart still breaks when I hear your name.

Everything I gave you, you took and you kept...
Everything except for my heart...

You crushed that instead.

Pineapple, pepperoni, green pepper and ital. sausage

You eat, laugh and talk. Realize things are so much smoother when we aren't concerned about impressing one another. Conversation is better because we are finally being honest. We're just friends now and its such a relief for both of us.

Closure pizza.

Where to Captain?

I made you a card... Drew you running with a gown on, there was a stack of books off to the side and a finish line that read: Congratulations!

I drew it up a few weeks ago and had not written anything inside yet. I burnt that card today because I realized if I could not find the words to properly congratulate you while you made me happy... I would certainly not be finding those words now that it hurts to think of you.

Nothing has changed, my brain is still my navigator, my heart is still on a sleeve as 2nd in command and Mr. Johnson is still the captain of the ship. While these three are together at the helm, this ship can't sail far. It never does and I don't think it ever will while he's still the captain. Although my heart may lead the mutiny against him, the victory of it all is always short lived and he always gets his ship back. The navigator trusts him too much and won't ever let my heart be more than a consult.

Where to captain?

Busy times

I have been in exam season for 2 weeks now and I have my last one on Tuesday. I've been in this exam mode so long I feel like I'm losing focus. Perhaps my lack of focus can be attributed to my busy timetable for the next couple weeks. Last exam Tuesday, field school starts Wednesday and that's a 8 to 4 commitment everyday. Saturday I have my new apartment! Friday night I'm moving my shit! Saturday morning before field school/between midnight and 8 am, I'm hoping to move into my apartment! Then on the 4th we go to Antigonish, 6 days of field school away from my new apartment and leave my dog to be watched by someone who is not related to me for the first time.